“Ebbene signor Meis, il destino di Roma è l’identico. I papi ne avevano fatto – a modo loro, s’intende – un’acquasantiera; noi italiani ne abbiamo fatto, a modo nostro, un portacenere.” (Pirandello)

Cantami, o Diva, del Pelide Achille l'ira funesta che infiniti addusse lutti agli Achei, molte anzi tempo all'Orco generose travolse alme d'eroi.



a homeless guy just said to me “do you tell jokes to make people laugh or to make people think you’re funny” and that is the most profound shit ive ever experienced

I asked my old science teacher this and he said “I make jokes to make myself laugh because I know I’m funny.”

  • I'm in my father's class at my high school. He said this today: 
  • Him: As some of you may not know, I'm a feminist.
  • class: *laughs*
  • Him: No, really, I am.
  • Class: *laughs again*
  • Him: Why is that funny?
  • Asshole: Because you're a man, and you shouldn't think that way.
  • Him: Well why not?
  • Asshole: I dunno that's just the way that is.
  • Him: I'm a feminist because of my wife. She and I have the EXACT same job. Yet, I make more than her.
  • Class: *laughs*
  • Him: Why is that funny? Shouldn't women be paid equally as men?
  • Same Asshole: No, they're supposed to be in the kitchen.
  • Him: *slams fist on asshole's desk* Why?
  • Asshole: Because that's how it is.
  • Him: Why?
  • Asshole: That's their job.
  • Him: Why?
  • Asshole: *can't come up with another answer*
  • Him: I'm a feminist because my wife has the exact same job, gets less pay, and with that, I can barely support my three children. If she got paid as much as me, life would be a bit easier for all of us.
  •  *note, my mother is a teacher like my father*
  • Him: Women gave birth to us, and now, here in the state of Michigan, they can't even have their own rights? It's 2014 people! Grow up or get out of my class.
  • Class: *silence*
  • Him: Now.. Louis XVI


i love urban dictionary because where the hell else are you going to find an encyclopedia of the slang terms used by like five skater kids in some american suburb in 2008


I played Luigi’s Mansion for the first time a little while ago and fell in love with it. What a weird little game.


posts this by itself b/c i’m so proud of myself


If someone told me that my dinky, three page comic would reach over 95k in two days i would have laughed at them!! A huge thanks to everyone who took joy in my silly comic! I have read all of the hilarious things that you have written about it and I am seriously in tears! haha thank you all SO MUCH!

 Yes I do know that self expression is important and that if he wanted to wear his out-of-date clothes then he could, bottom line is, the Boss is a snob. He cant have last seasons clothes on his employees?! that’s outrageous!

I love you all so much!! I seriously cant believe this. thank you!! 


WWII on the front page:  the world reacts to Germany’s invasion of Poland, September 1939

Germany | Völkischer Beobachter | September 2nd
Title: The German march continues to be successful on all fronts
Subtitle: Our war machines over Warsaw
Below: No German bombing of civilians  

Holland| Algemeen Handelsblad | September 2nd
Title: French-British ultimatum: No answer from Berlin
Subtitle: There is no war:  say Germany
Below: Warsaw hit with bombs yesterday

Italy| L’Osservatore Romano | September 2nd
Title: This morning a conflict erupted between Germany and Poland
Subtitle: What does the government in Berlin demand. Statements from Hitler and Mościcki.  Reichstag’s declaration. Lack of calls for help from abroad. Ground fighting and bombing. Call for parliaments to mobilization.
Italy announces it will not take part in any military conflict. 

France| La Croix | September 2nd
Title: Germany attacks Poland. France mobilizing its powers
Subtitle: House of Parliament called to meet - Exceptional circumstances in 89 French departments, in Belfort and Algeria
Below: Military action commenced throughout the German-Polish border. Warsaw and many other cities bombed.

Portugal| Jornal de Noticias | September 2nd Headline: European Drama
Title: Yesterday morning a military conflict began between Poland and Germany
Subtitle: German air force bombed several Polish cities, Warsaw and  Gdynia.  The Reich army attacked from three sides: Eastern Prussia, Silesia and Slovakia.  

Romania| Timpul | September 2nd
Title: Military action has begun
Subtitle: Fighting along the Polish-German border. Mobilization in England and France.
Below: The German army will fight with utmost energy, proclaims Hitler
- The whole nation stands together to fight until victory, says Mościcki

Soviet Union | Izwiestia | September 1st
Title: The ratification of the Soviet-German Non-Aggression Pact
Subtitle: Statement of comrade Molotov at the meeting of the Supreme Council of the USSR from August 31st, 1939

Great Britain | Daily Express | September 1st
Headline: German-Soviet pact is ratified.
Then, within 20 minutes Hitler drops a radio bombshell:
Title: ‘I consider my terms have been rejected’
Below:  16 points: return of Danzing at once

USA | Chicago Daily Tribune | September 1st
Title: Europe’s war is on
Subtitle: France and Britain mobilize to aid Poland. Italy wavers
Article below (on the left): Poles report attack by Nazi planes, troops
Article below (on the right): Germany takes Danzig, Navy blockades Gdynia  (source)